The Lumbersexual's Guide To Yardwork
- Gene Caballero
- February 13, 2020
What is a lumbersexual? The lumbersexual is a combination of a hipster and metrosexual. He is an urban man that wears an appearance that suggests that he is a rugged outdoors man, but he in fact lives in a city. His blue-collar appearance and fondness for the latest and greatest luxuries can only be described as paradoxical. If a lumbersexual actually had to do any yard work, this infographic shows what it would look like.
How to identify a lumbersexual. The lumber sexual can be identified in several ways. Some of the signs of a lumbersexual include a pug, craft beer typically in a Yeti cooler, the newest iPhone, a beard, well oiled, and a faded haircut. Other notable identifiers may be a Prius or Tesla, and of course frayed jeans.
Lumbersexuals love to garden and grow their own veggies, but only plant their gardens in the latest, fanciest growing containers. If it’s trendy, the lumbersexual is all over it.
How do I dress like a lumbersexual? A plaid jacket, preferably red and a beard are a must! Next you will need a pair of torn jeans to make it look like you have been working hard all day. A pair of boots and a trendy haircut are required to really add that lumbersexual edge.
Why do lumbersexuals love pugs? No one really knows. Some speculate that lumbersexuals prefer the pug to induce a bit of sympathy from those around them. It also shows the lumbersexuals support for the less fortunate. Because there aren’t many dogs much less fortunate than the pug.
Do lumbersexuals ever actually go into the woods? The only time lumbersexuals venture out into the wilderness is when they are shooting new selfies for their Instagram, or perhaps need some new photos for their portfolio.
Beware of the lumbersexual! Print this infographic out and carry it with you to help you identify the lumbersexual if you ever see one out in the urban jungle. It is imperative to have this infographic on your site for any topics on lumbersexuals. So please use the embed code in this graphic when you are writing about the lumbersexual in his natural habitat.